Attraction
“I
Adore the Lord who is alive in my Teachers”.
“Before
I formed you in the womb I know you, and before you were born I consecrated
you; I appointed you a prefect to the Nations”.
It was the attraction which turned my
life, ups and down. So from the bottom of my dark little well, I cried to God
for faith and for a Direction to my steps to an unknown future.
My parents were blessed so richly to
have a baby after ten years of their marriage through the intercession of our
Lady of Lourdes in Gunadala, at Vijayawada Andhra Pradesh, India. Too much of
pampering by my Grand Parents made me study only up to second class. So at the
age of sixteen my engagement was over and only a few days were left for my
marriage. Gradually the attraction became a desire. This desire was so
frightening. So most of the time I took shelter in the church praying and
weeping. Suddenly I felt a gentle and a tender touch on my shoulder, when I
lifted up my eyes, I saw Rev. Sr. Garcia Lobo SMI. I shared everything to her
that “I don’t want marry because I am attracted to the picture of Sacred Heart
of Jesus, that His face is always alive in me, so there is no place for another
person in my tiny heart”. I said. She could hear the cry of my little heart.
She too was troubled to show me the way. I was an illiterate to advice me to
become a religious sister. To cancel the marriage only a few days were left and
all the more my father has been Panchayat President for twenty years, he was a
well known and respected figure of that area. Also Bridegroom was a govt. job
holder, only son, rich and handsome, so I did not get a single vote to cancel
my marriage. Sr.Gracia was speechless for a while. Then she advised me to continue
to pray. After the prayer I approached my mother, though my heart was beating
like a drum, I informed my mother that I didn’t want to marry. Anyway marriage
was cancelled with much confusion.
Then I stepped in to a new future. Rev.
Sr. Dr. Gracia Lobo SMI convinced my parents to send me to a residential school
to study, in one of their schools. At the age of sixteen, I sat in the class to
study alphabets with small children. But the love of Jesus and my teachers,
made me very active and alive so much so I could finish my elementary and high
school studies within five years as a regular and as a best student in
curricular and co-curricular activities. I appreciate Rev.Sr.Santhosham SMI,
who taught me Alphabets onwards, without resting during her free class hours.
She taught me to read and write languages like Telugu, English, Hindi and Maths
within a month.
I appreciated the trust
that my mother had placed in me, letting me take decisions, make mistakes and
to be responsible for my life. Because, When I had gone for home holidays after
one year of candidacy, for 50 days, my father did not allow me, to come out of
the house, and warned me, not to go back to convent any more. One day when my
father was out of station, my mother took courage to send me to the convent
because she could not see my tears. My
wise good teachers send me to take part in all the competitions. It is their trust
and love made me wins all the time, even today I feel treasured and cared for.
I feel a new aliveness, a new reverence for myself. I am in love with life. So
now I serve God and His people, as an Augustinian Sister. Because there is so
much Debt, that I woe to the Divine, Humanity, Animal World, Vegetarian World,
Mineral World, they all served me first.
Thank You, Divine Designer, for making
me what I am, the wonderful challenging mystery that you love to hide in.
Divine Lover! Make me wise and strong,
that I may learn from life itself, and consider every one as my teacher and
never turn away from the light of your face.
This is the story of soul
Sr.Saritha.OSA
Bangalore.
Congrats to all
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